"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I had only one thing in mind when I started blogging - to voice out things that matter to me. That my flair for writing would only be reserved for things that I believe makes an impact in my life and perhaps unto others who would spare a moment of their time to read it. And that my blog would only represent it as only words that decorate the meanings of what mattered to me.
But 55 posts and dozens CSS changes later, my blog is the epitome of classic human insatisfaction and above all, trivial-ness.
I must insist, though, that some posts have been writings of the heart and of the intellect mind that I once in a while put to good use. But for the most part, I wrote and posted because I had to. And it even had to do with the fact that I had to "compete" - this I must confess.
Recalling when I first lost sight of what I wanted to represent, I am never sure of this. Maybe it was the lure of trying to have a blog that is very Web 2.0-ey; maybe it was the thrill in seeing how many subscribers and readers that made their ways onto my blog; maybe it was the sort of validation that my blog has better content than yours could that I was seeking, that drove me to a blind state.
Whilst on my many hunts for ideas to write about just recently, it dawned on me that I haven't been true to myself and to the hope of what I'd like to represent through this medium. On an episode of mini-epiphany, I realized that I didn't have to write about something just because it was on every other blogs; that I didn't have to have a spectrum of colors on my blog just to show how "lovely with colors" it is; that I didn't have to constantly join online community groups to show for ; that I didn't need to tell the world that just because I know terms like DOF and HDR, I rightfully own the right to call myself a photographer or a digital art designer(in fact, that's a very lousy excuse). The truth is as it is - I'm not most things I claim to be.
It just didn't matter, as I found out. Not to you, not to me.
So, with this posting, I marked it the end of all the "clutters" and "trivial-ness" of what this blog was, and the next time I write a new post, it'll be on a new, fuddle-muddle-mare's-nest-of-a-hotchpotch-free blog that will only be of things that matter to me. I'm saying goodbye to unnecessary widgets and links, and making my farewells to the bird that tweets and the art that deviates.
With that, I sincerely apologize for the flow of verbosity that may have been deemed offending and unnecessary. I offer no justification for my vile actions and even thoughts because they were simply, stoically the fruit of my selfishness and disrespect. And with this, I will try, with the original vision I had with this blog, become silent on things that doesn't matter, things that fringes on acts of selfishness and disrespect.
And of course, as of my policy, don't expect any honey-i-love-you's and today-i-fought-with-my-boyfriend dramas - my private life has to remain, even if it is turbulent, private as it is.
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