Quote Today

    If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
    - Oscar Wilde

    Saturday, March 13, 2010

    "Why Am I With This Man?" - Girlfriends' Read Share

    Women are emotional. Men aren't?

    I beg to differ.


    Women cry and let their feelings out by expressing them in words. Men - well, let's just say they're not so smart in utilizing words.

    How do men show us that they're sad or angry or just plain emotional? They act it out. Yes, you do!

    Here are my top four scenarios (in no particular order) on men's acts of emotions:

    Scenario 1:
    When you're going out on a date. He's waiting outside in the car while you are still just finishing your make-up. Enter the car and you see he's got a pout. You ask, "Are you okay?" He says, "Nothing's wrong." But for the rest of the journey, he sits quietly, driving, without so much of a glance at you. Besides the odd questions here and there, he gives you the silent treatment for the rest of the date.

    He's angry. Reason: because it took you an extra 5 minutes to do your make-up and he had to wait for that "longest" of a time of 5 MINUTES!

    Scenario 2:
    As a continuation to the 1st scenario, this one extends to the story that you're going out for dinner with him and a few of his and your friends. Dinner ends with everyone guessing the total bill. You guess a number and everyone else guesses a higher number than yours. Turns out you were the furthest guess from the actual. "No shame in it", you'd might think. But because your boyfriend was angry with you, he felt justified by embarrassing you in front of his friends.

    You put a smile and act oblivious to his foolish attempt to embarrass you. Truth: your feelings are hurt and inside you're crying because your boyfriend would show you up in front of his friends and actually laugh AT YOU, too!

    Scenario 3:
    In the car with your boyfriend driving, your boyfriend checks on your inbox in your handphone. One of the messages indicates you're keeping a secret for a girl-friend to whom you've sworn to never tell. Your boyfriend insists to know. You say, "But I've promised not to tell." Boyfriend squints his eyes and and says, " Fine!" Boyfriend continues driving but this time with increasing speed and stunt-like manoeuvers.

    You try to remain calm and unaffected. Inside, you're scared and at the same time angry at him for being so selfish. Selfish for not considering the life of a girl who is his girlfriend, the life of a girl who, more importantly is a daughter of a father and mother, whom would like to see her return home safe and sound.

    Scenario 4:
    You don't mind that boyfriend has friends who are girls with whom he frequently hangs out with and even have conversations on the phone with. Just as long as he knows his boundaries. But you sit next to a friend who is a boy and all you do is have petty conversations. Boyfriend gives you a look. As a sign of respect, you move away and try to explain to boyfriend. But boyfriend wouldn't hear it and sets off to not talk to you and ignore you for the next few days or until you say sorry.

    Boyfriend is angry and you want to make it right so you say sorry. Truth: was it really yours to say sorry? Does the rules of 'not engaging with the opposite sex' apply only to the girlfriend but it's 'however it goes' for the boyfriend?

    Often, it isn't the words that causes the tears to fall down a woman's face or bare the hurt of the heart. It is the things that men don't say but do that makes us listen to achy-breaky heart songs and ask, "Why am I with this man?"

    Friday, March 12, 2010

    It Is Almost Time To Go Share

    "...I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
    Each one is different but they're always the same
    They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
    They'll never allow me to change
    But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
     

    I'm movin' on..."




    It's five minutes to the end. Like a schoolkid, all ready and packed to storm out of the room. For a moment there, it was all she could think of - to come home.

    The loving voice of a mother, the warm embrace of a little sister, the assuring confidence of a father - nothing else mattered for her. Coming home was, always has been, a memory of comfort and love.

    Yet, as the years passed and as she came into age, deep down lays a yearning for something bigger than herself and the world she has come to love. She knew inevitably, it was something she must do for herself. It was the only way to keep her sane.

    The harmonics have dwindled over the years, now replaced by constant bickerings and doled-out blames enough for the whole family. Silent treatments and unrelentless name callings have come to waste, they no longer pierce the hearts.

    Do you know that feeling when you're so sad that you want to just cry?

    But you're so angry at the same time that the tears just won't fall?

    Her days are like these - plagued by the slanders to her feelings, yet unable to rise above them, even with the strongest of will.

    It isn't the question of could, but it is the question of would - would she be willing to endure?

    She could not make them choose. It wouldn't be right to do so. For her, it seemed like they have already made a choice. A choice not to listen, a choice not to defend, a choice not to acknowledge. A choice not to choose but to neglect entirely.

    Perhaps she's thinking too much into it. Perhaps this is her heart speaking to her. Perhaps all she wants to do is to get out.

    For sorrow that is too much, her reasons mattered only to her. 

    The bags are packed, the pictures and gifts all wrapped up and the memories tucked away in the corner of the bedroom. And as she carried with her her dignity and pride, she knew it is almost time to go.
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