Imperfect, you should know... Share

To be or not to be – Shakespeare, without a doubt coined that all-too-important phrase that knows neither time nor age. Yet, only a few can be bothered to be au fait with what it means. Yet, again, it would only be biased of me to not consider the reality that perceptions are, inevitably, rendered relatively.

I have never concerned myself with the question of who I really am. I realized now that I can be naïve at times and shallow to think that I can be forgiven if I just act how I know people prefer to have me behave as. Just today, I found myself wooing attention by being exactly who I really am not. No, I wasn’t seeking attention – rather, it was because it was the norm, the culture of the people I was with at the time. Loud, approachable, friendly, fun, enjoys being in the company of others – all of which I personally cannot associate myself to. And, hey, it’s not like I am saying all that in derogative terms. It really just isn’t me.

Wasn’t much of like a slap in the face, because I’ve always had it in my conscience, tucked away in a little box in my head labeled “Me in Reality”. So tucked away that at the moment of asking myself “Who am I really?”, I think it was only an hour later I finally got the answer – an answer I also had tucked away in another box called “Rejected Reality”.

A friend asked this afternoon why I was being aloof, after noticing that I wasn’t chatty, I wasn’t participating in conversations, and the only expression I could offer at the time to all quips and what-nots was a feeble smirk. I offered no response – and then I remembered, this is who I am. I offer no defensive motives, no rationale or excuses. No I do not seek a reason to apologize for being who I am – be it as imperfect of a personality to have.

So, no, you don’t have to sing songs in sarcasm to tell me that I think as if I’m perfect. No, you don’t have to tell me that the very least I could do was to fake a laugh at your jokes. And please stop clichés like “Just be yourself, and people will like you for that”, and then come back saying why am I being unpleasant.

All I’d offer you as a response is “I’m being me.”