Counting Sleep Share

I know of bridezillas. I know the pressures of getting married. I know most of the time, it will be a one-man (or woman) effort. I know of people saying that it will all be worth it in the end.

What they don't know is how I feel and what I have to put up with, just to get married.

One piece of advice, if you're getting married, make sure he's really the one. That despite all the bickering and picking faults, through all the disagreement and debate, that at the end of it you should still be feeling madly in love, the kind that climbs over the highest mountain and crosses the deepest ocean.

For some reason, for me it's like the highest mountain of obstacles and deep-trench oceans infested with sharks, that end up leaving me feeling just frustrated, disappointed and down-right un-bride-ful and un-excited about the whole wedding.

There's a reason why I didn't hire a wedding planner to arrange the whole deal. I just want to have a wedding that I've always wanted. It's not like its a over-the-top, grand wedding. I know what I can and cannot afford. Plus, it's my money.

So if I want to buy an expensive cocktail/goblet glass (again), then I will.

I cannot understand how men can always take (wedding) planning/preparation so lightly. They would laugh to scorn when we panic at a tiny mishap of a detail in a wedding preparation. They'd mock our choices in decor, colors, fabrics, gifts, our thoughts and opinions, and all the being that is us.

And they claim to want to vow, "..till death do us part.."

...or something like that. Pardon me, I'm not seeing the romance in wedding as of right now.

And what is with the obsession of taking the short-cut or the convenient way? If I really wanted a hassle-free wedding without the formalities and all, I wouldn't bother myself with dresses and pre-wed photos, gifts and reception a long time ago. Let's just write our vows on a post-it note and call ourselves "legally married".

It's a one-time event that I want to be done as how I want it. Not as how you think that would be convenient for YOU. If I wanted only guests of only 300, then I meant 300, not 400. If I said I wanted to pick my own wedding ring, a ring that I'm to wear for the rest of my life, then make sure I'd be able to make that choice.

I know that I haven't been "asking for help" from anyone, that I've been mostly preparing by myself. And, really, I'm okay with that. I don't like "outsourcing" important matters like my own wedding. I just wish others would stop thinking or assuming I'm wasting my time not preparing for the wedding, just because they're not helping me with anything.

I'm handling it. And it's going fine. I promise to scream like a banshee when it's not.

Like any bride, I want my wedding day to be the best day. But if you keep at your attitude to me as they are, then please don't take photos of me on my wedding day because it'll show on my face of my weeping heart.